Crystal Kingdom

Shanna Fanelli is a certified Crystal and Sound Alchemist, Faeriologist, Energy Artist and Reiki I and II practitioner. Deeply in tune with the mysteries of the ancients and a Star-child, her minimalistic lifestyle and sacred reverence for the elementals reflect her beliefs and loving relationship with the Nature. She implements Crystal Energy, Vocal Healing and Earth-essence into her daily practices and energy sessions, focusing on a holistic lifestyle that honors love and light for all life-force. Shanna has over three decades of working with faeires, nature spirits and stars. She has studied under Silkander Scott Von Heldt, Doreen Virtue, Nicole Pigaeult and Antea Rood. 

It seems like there’s a lot of seeking going on. Every-other street corner, natural foods store, metaphysical hot-spot and couch cushion is being scoured for the newest token of manifestation and spiritual awakening. It’s beautiful, it’s exciting, and it’s all the rage, which can suddenly manifest itself as soggy granola in life’s cereal bowl of irony.  Suddenly the “rage” issues a rage, and it’s no gluten-free-vegan-biodynamic-cupcake of bliss when confronted with the oodles of options spirit weavers, fortune tellers and the latest Instagram account tell us we need in order to be in “our personal power…”  We are left with a panic that our dreamcatchers don’t work, our birthdays screwed us for life, and that if we don’t have every precious gemstone there is to mine, we won’t activate our LightBody (you were thinking about all of this stuff to do that, right?).

I can’t tell you the way to enlightenment, but I can tell you that it’s ok to relax. I can’t stretch my body into sacred geometrical shapes and walk on water, but I can tell you that you should really try (and if you do this – please call me!). I can’t tell you all of the downloads and chants that can be integrated to achieve this heightened state of Divine Awareness, but I can tell you about one of the many tools and Master Teachers our amazing planet has provided to enable us to remember who we are – crystals.

I state this as fact, because I believe it to be so and because I’ve been working with the Plant and Crystal Kingdom all of my life.  You have too, if you have ever had the sudden urge to climb a tree, sit on a rock, dig your hands through the sand, or just walk barefoot across the grass. Our natural state is to be at ease with the elements, and the Crystal Kingdom presents us with tangible representations of the innate powers we possess.  Each stone resonates at a special frequency that touches us, allowing our physical bodies to begin to vibrate at that frequency. The ultimate goal is to embody all of those vibrations and continually resonate at a crystalline current. Our limitless LightBodies are already crystalline, and eagerly awaiting integration into our physical selves. The crystals, nature’s gifts, help us with this sacred union.

I often get asked about how to work with the crystals. I say play with them! The crystals are living objects of outstanding energy – they want you to be open to be able to receive their gifts!  Never doubt, feel foolish, or intimidated by the concept of bonding with a crystal. There is no wrong way to play within this world. One of the easiest things to do is to literally go to a location where there are crystals and walk around, opening yourself up to the idea that there is a new friend waiting to find you. It’s delightfully surprising to see what crystals will call out to you at different times in your life.  When you find a special stone that “feels good” (really!) hold it in your hand. You can close your eyes if it helps you to concentrate, you can gaze at it in wonder (or confusion), you can sing the theme song from The Legend of Zelda and triumphantly hold it atop your head – whatever feels good.  Notice if it heats up or cools down. See if it fits into the grooves of your palm and snuggles into the nooks where the fingers attach to the hand.  In a world of overstimulation, the art of just being, just feeling quiet and focusing on a simple act can be one of the best gifts you can give to yourself. This may not happen immediately, and that’s ok. Be gentle with yourself. Expect the best and if nothing happens at first, know that you are destined for something better, something magical! Once you find that perfect piece, you will know.

Continue to carry your crystal with you. Get used to its distinct size, shape and lovely crevices. Feel the lines, points, hollows, dips and mountains upon its surface. Does it bear any physical similarities to you? (You know what they say about humans and their pets, well, if you were a crystal…) Check out the coloring – does it have rainbows? Is it a smooth, unified shade or does it have spots and gradual fading? Is it actually quite hideous to you, but for whatever reason, you just love it?  It loves you too.

There is a never-ending plenty when it comes to crystal play. You can make mandalas with them, create special altars of intentions, grid your home, office (I used to keep a grid right on my desk when I worked in the corporate world) and make a special “blend” to keep in the car or on your bike for protection. You can do beautiful dedication ceremonies for yourself, others, or the Earth with crystals. You can take them and plant them back into the Earth with intentions. One of my favorite things to do is to charge a quartz crystal with a specific intention, and then plant it in a spot with an amethyst. To charge a crystal is to cleanse it, and then in whatever way feels best to you, to state your intention for the highest good and the highest frequency (you always want to preface an intent with some sort of prayer that acknowledges the highest of frequencies, as we want to continually raise our vibrations and all that is around us). There is no wrong way to charge a crystal. You can hold it to your third eye, you can place it on your heart chakra, you can give it a good stare or simply fold it between your hands. I like to blow my breath into them before I state an intention, as I feel it imbeds both my life force as well as my spirit.

Quartz crystals are the easiest to program with intent, and quite receptive. They work with all chakras. The wee slivers of quartz are just darling to program for use in planting and gridding – they get so excited, you can see them start to sparkle and get rainbows! I always include a small piece of amethyst or kyanite when doing this play, as these two stones vibrate at such a high frequency, they never need to be cleansed. In fact, they are so evolutionarily advanced in spiritual vibrations that they will also cleanse, charge and empower objects and space around them – that’s any stones, jewelry, rooms and you!

This leads me to the concept of cleansing your crystals.  Crystals are our master teachers in remembering who we are and connecting ourselves back to our Higher Selves, connecting us back to Source. They assist us in recognizing our power and enable us to travel this earthly plane with a spiritual air. It’s important to respect them and keep them clean and happy – they will do the same for you. One of the most common ways to cleanse a crystal is with sage or palo santo.  The Latin for sage is ‘Salvia,’ meaning ‘to heal.’  The name of the plant itself, ‘sage,’ means wise, elite, advanced. The vibrations of the plant embody its name, which is why the ancient Druids held it sacred and would burn it, and the Native Americans.

Palo Santo, (“Holy Wood”) is a magical tree from South America that has healing properties. Its delicious scent raises vibrations, which enables you to form a deeper connection to Source. Though it does not burn as long as sage, it is literally, Divine. Your crystals will sing for you when you bathe them in the smoke of the Palo Santo.

And speaking of baths, there are some crystals that just adore a good soak in some salt water or a running river. If you live near a natural body or spring of water, give those crystals that are ok with getting wet a treat.  You can dip them one-by-one, or create a special netted bag and just swish them in. Quartz is fine with water. Selenite is not. You’ll actually get a funny feeling in the pit of your stomach (and that intuition should develop even more as you continue to bond and play with your crystals!) about whether or not a crystal would like to be immersed in the water element. Trust it. One of my choice baths for my crystals is to use a special bowl or dish that I fill with good Himalayan salt and just let those critters soak in it for three days. After their soak, I like to rub them and will put them on a tree root or cover them with some flowers (awesome for rose quartz, kunzite and morganite!).

You can keep a little pot of earth or sand as well to soak your crystals in – the earth element will draw out anything that does not serve your crystal in the highest good and purify it.  For protective and super grounding stones, (like Black Tourmaline, Obsidian, Shungite, Onyx and Hematite) it’s best to cleanse regularly, as these particular crystals shield your energy field against psychic attacks and electro magnetic fields (EMF). Think of them like vacuums - you want to keep them empty so that they can continue to cleanse for you. Be careful of putting your crystals in direct sunlight for too long, as the powerful rays will bleach your crystals. This is actually an amazing way to bring back any crystals that have turned cloudy, a result of being ignored or hidden. In this case, a good sun bath is most appreciated. Full moonlight is an incredibly potent time to cleanse crystals. Put them out in a safe spot and let them bask in the silver rays of the moon overnight – they will thank you for this special energy and you, in turn, will resonate with it as well!

Talking to the crystals is a wonderful way to form a connection – they love attention! Rubbing them is not only a beautiful way to bond, but also will encourage growth. Notice how your crystal will sparkle more, create rainbows and even change colors! This is all a reflection of you and your growth.  Make sure that you are keeping your crystals on natural surfaces – no plastic! If you’re feeling crafty, perhaps you can construct a special shelf or area for them. I keep a majority of my crystals on my wooden countertop in the kitchen, as this is where I do most of my play. The crystals displayed change as my needs or focus does. Any grid-work that I am doing has its own special place where it will remain undisturbed until the intention has manifested (and this happens rather quickly, as the crystals are quite powerful!).

I have amethyst and selenite in every room, as they continually raise vibrations. I keep a white Himalayan salt lamp the size of a small child in my bedroom. Himalayan salt is one of the most holistic minerals, as it emits negative ions, which counteract the positive ions emitted from electronics and keep a clear space. Keeping the physical space, the environment, as sacred and charged will keep you in the same vibration; you will align to these high frequencies, identify with them, and resonate with them. When we allow ourselves to fall into harmony with these amazing tools of nature, we integrate our spiritual lives into the mundane with grace and ease, and begin to allow others to feel those vibrations.

There are so many wonders and initiations that the Crystal Kingdom has to offer, and it is eager to integrate itself into our lives. That is the beautiful relationship that we have with the nature, to orchestrate these highest of frequencies with us so that our spiritual essence, our LightBodies, can easily integrate into our physical selves. It’s such an exciting gift that is our birthright, to work with these Rock Stars and truly see that heaven is a place on Earth. 

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Shanna Fanelli is a certified Crystal and Sound Alchemist, Faeriologist, Energy Artist and Reiki I and II practitioner based in Santa Monica. Learn more about Shanna and her services at ShannaFanelli.com. 

Owning What Is

When I reflect on my youth, I recognize that I experienced many forms of self-destruction that I wasn’t fully aware of at the time. Patterns of deprivation, binging, bulimia, anorexia, over-exercising and even self-mutilation were formed during my teenage years, consuming much of my behavior and mandating many of my actions. Flashes of a mid-drift clad Britney Spears seduced me, patronizing perfection and obstructing my perception of reality; the attention I received for the cleavage I bared fueled me, engraining within me the idea that my value was contingent on the size of my chest; the desperation to seem attractive and desirable at the cost of our own health and happiness infiltrated the mindset of me and many of my peers, resulting in obsession over appearance. Over a decade later, I find myself living in a culture that has exacerbated this formidable epidemic.

When I was in grad school, I focused much of my studies on adolescent development, yearning to understand the complexities of the teenage psyche and how young people come to form their identity. I conducted a small group interview consisting of five adolescent girls for one of my final papers. Each of the participants revealed that she was a victim of self-destruction, and articulated that this had been evoked by the relentless quest to attain a “perfect” image. All five young women reported that they had excessively dieted and exercised, three of the five had undergone plastic surgery, three of the five had experienced anorexia, two of the five had battled binging and self-mutilation and one of the five struggled with bulimia. This revelation broke my heart; through talking with them I realized that critical conversations regarding the adversity and pressures they were confronting were lacking in their lives. 

As many of us may remember, during adolescence, individuals become egocentric, viewing the world from a single perspective.  They experience, what researcher David Elkind coined the “imaginary audience” – the belief that others are always watching them. So while many of us may not have the patience to indulge teenagers in their own drama, it’s a very real experience for them. And it can significantly impact their self-esteem.  I’ve read research articles that have indicated that for female adolescents, self-esteem consistently correlates with the way one views herself through physical appearance. And it doesn’t help that sociocultural pressures on adolescent girls enforce a thin ideal body image and perpetuate the importance of appearance in terms of one’s identity and success as a female… How can one thrive when facing this predicament?

This was my experience and it confused the hell out of me because, while I was influenced by the mixed messaging, prescribed gender roles and unrealistic portrayal of idealized and sexualized images, I also didn’t really buy into it and felt unsettled while forming my identity. I felt myself being pulled in two different directions – wanting to be received and needing to live up to the “perfect” image, while also intrinsically knowing how ridiculous the entire construct was. But I didn’t have the skills or the understanding of how to confront the dichotomy I was facing - I was fueled by achieving an unrealistic standard of beauty while also feeling completely disconnected from who I was; I wanted to be perceived as ideal and yet I was deeply insecure; I wanted to be viewed as a sexualized icon and yet I was closed off to all experiences sexual. The paradox was overwhelming for my adolescent brain – with an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex (as is the case for all teenagers) I was more impulsive in my actions and less grounded in my confidence.

Fast forward to my late twenties, only now am I learning what it means to be in my fullest expression, to be confident in myself and to honor the body that I have in this moment. The self-destructing patterns continued throughout my young adulthood, and they still have a tendency to show up – although faint, when thoughts of trying to achieve an illusory ideal become present, I have to catch myself in the self-destructive actions that immediately want to ensue.

Constant awareness of my thoughts and behaviors has been my saving grace; being mindful of my language and my internal dialogue has shifted the way that I relate to myself and others; letting go of the bullshit belief that I am supposed to fit into some box has freed me from the cage I once called home; asking for and being willing to receive support from loved ones in moments when I have fallen has helped me rise strong; and having conversations about the things that nobody wants to talk about is causing the rippling and granting others permission to inquire within and make a change.

I am now, at twenty-nine years old, navigating what it means to be a woman who is secure in her own skin; a woman who honors both her bright light and the depths of her darkness; a woman who doesn’t abide by society’s standards of beauty; a woman who is a contradiction in her softness, strength, sweetness, power, femininity, wildness, rawness and sensuality; a woman who is fucking vulnerable in her self-expression, knowing that self-love is cultivated when she is in full acceptance of all aspects that make her who she is; a woman who isn’t afraid to ask for help and receive the love that wants to find her; a woman who no longer feels the need to hide from, dim because of, compare to, and compete with other women; a woman who acknowledges the challenges that are still present as she discovers how to fully celebrate herself and own what is.

It’s a journey, a process, that I am still learning how to traverse – but I am committed to it and I refuse to allow others’ judgments, projections, limiting beliefs, desire to shame, and enforced ideals limit me. It’s time that we all take a stand, support each other and the younger generations as they discover who they are, and own what is so that we can feel our way through the muck and come out on the other side stronger and more beautiful than ever before.

Photo Credit: Laurent Levy Photography

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Jessica has a B.Sc. in Applied Psychology from New York University, M.Ed., in Human Development and Psychology from Harvard, and a M.A., (in progress) in Spiritual Psychology from University of Santa Monica. Jessica is also a columnist at Elephant Journal and has been featured with Huffington Post.

Connect with her at JessicaWinterstern.com and on Facebook.

I Thought I Was Compassionate But I Was Wrong...

I’ve gotten really good at saturating my conversations with positive talk. Loving terminology has become an essential piece of my mother tongue. I find myself actively trying to replace self-criticism with loving mantras, steering clear of limiting words/phrases so to fill my communication with powerful affirmations, and becoming apt at spotting judgments, be them my own or others’, so to recognize the opportunity for growth and healing.

A daily practice of positivity, gratitude and self-love has the power to connect me to the underlying blessings in the suffering, the beauty in the foul, and the light in the darkness. Sometimes it feels like second nature; I can find stillness within the most torrential storm and maintain that knowing that the calm will inevitability come.  

I can’t vent for the sake of it anymore; I can’t gossip without immediately realizing what I am doing and being left with an awful taste in my mouth; I can’t wallow without being aware of my own victimization. Negativity isn’t as appealing as it used to be.  It gets old really quickly. And I just don’t have any space for it.

In fact, I despise it.

And herein lies the issue and where, many of us, dupe ourselves into believing that self-compassion is surging through our veins when, really, our bloodstream thirsts for it.  

While it takes great strength and commitment to connect to the greater awareness that all is well, in moments, I hold this mentality as a way to bypass my own breaking heart.

This being human isn’t always easy; the space between becoming lost to the chaos and completely barricading the heart from feeling the impact of fragmentation is difficult to find and master. However, it is that space where deep healing happens.

My entire practice is built upon the notion that the only way out is through and the only way through is to feel, as I recognize that when we avoid facing our pain and disconnect from experiencing our emotions we perpetuate our own suffering. Similarly, I know firsthand that when we become victim to our pain and succumb to the stories we create, suffering persists. The in-between is the place we want to get to.

I have mastered the ability to hold loving space for my clients to become undone and feel safe in giving voice to all the feelings they don’t want to look at. And yet, I only allow myself so much space to go to those dark places before I demand that I get it together and find that blessing… And fast.

Kristen Neff, a researcher and professor at the University of Texas studies self-compassion  and has distinguished three key elements that are integral in mastering this concept: Self-Kindness, Common Humanity, and Mindfulness.

 Self-kindness relates to the importance of being loving towards oneself, especially in moments of disarray, failure, and disappointment; Common Humanity is all about recognizing that pain, suffering and feelings of unworthiness are a part of the shared human experience; Mindfulness speaks to finding balance when it comes to experiencing one’s emotions, so to experience them fully without over-identifying with them.

When I think about these three key factors that make up self-compassion, I see where I have been deceiving myself.

The field of self-development and the conscious community has heavily influenced me and, at some point, I became overly fixated on experiencing my divinity while forgetting my humanness.

When I fall into a hole, I make sure to feel the impact, but I refuse to stay down in that darkness for long; I criticize that victim part of me that used to run my life and now I see that is where my compassion is most needed.

Neff speaks to the research that shows that self-criticism causes the body to release cortisol, the stress hormone, and is known to be an important predictor for anxiety and depression. When we are being self-critical, we are activating our internal threat system, causing the body to go into fight or flight mode; because we are the both the attacker (attacking our self-concept) and the one being attacked, the amount of cortisol released increases exponentially. And so, when we are critical of ourselves for being critical in the first place, we are over-flooding our system with this stress hormone, causing the body to break down.

Self-compassion is the antidote, as it reduces cortisol levels by releasing oxytocin and opiates, allowing people to feel more secure, safe and loved. When we are compassionate with ourselves, especially during those moments of self-criticism, we nourish and replenish our systems and heal our pain.

Thus, we must learn to love the aspects of ourselves that make us cringe. We must bring self-kindness to those qualities that we normally shame. We must remind ourselves that we are human and we are not alone in our experiences of hardship.  We must be mindful of the fact that we can fully experience the texture of an emotion without needing to overindulge.

And in those moments when we falter, when we are overly negative, when we are cruel to ourselves, when we feel completely alone, when we become the victim to our circumstances, and the cortisol levels rise…we love ourselves even harder and call forward the power of our compassion.

Here’s to wholeheartedly embracing our humanness in all its imperfection.

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Jessica has a B.Sc. in Applied Psychology from New York University, M.Ed., in Human Development and Psychology from Harvard, and a M.A., (in progress) in Spiritual Psychology from University of Santa Monica. Jessica is also a columnist at Elephant Journal and has been featured with Huffington Post.

Connect with her at info@soulfullbyjess.com and on  Facebook.

I Love You AND the Answer is NO!

In the past, my understanding of boundaries was limited, embedded in my naivety; I built them on an unstable foundation made of fear. 

They were usually fueled by projected anger, blame, and hatred – the kind of boundary that screams, “if you come any closer, I will tear you apart” – mostly directed towards men. Years ago, I was at some bar with friends when a man I was judging as creepy started walking towards me. Every detail of that moment is still etched into my memory – from the sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach to the instant bitchy armor I put up as I automatically altered my state from open to guarded…I was ready to fight to the death. He smiled, which made me hate him more, and before he could finish his sentence, from the depths of my rage and disgust, I venomously spit out, “fuck no!” and turned away. I realized a moment too late that he was asking for directions to the restroom. I felt like an asshole; I had come off as nasty, when in truth I was petrified. 

Fear dictated many of my choices and ended up serving as the ultimate self-fulfilling prophecy and reinforced the vicious cycle.

I have learned a lot from my past ignorance: one of the most valuable lessons has been recognizing that the content is almost insignificant compared to the underlying force that creates it. More specifically, regardless of what I say or do in a given moment, when it comes from fear, the very thing I am trying to avoid is usually actualized. The effects may not be felt right away, but anything that is fear-based eventually falls apart. 

When I first learned this lesson, I identified each painful experience I had gone through, influenced by my fears and limiting beliefs – the boundaries came from a disempowered place serving no purpose other than to perpetuate a victim mentality. 

But I am not a victim; it was just the story I was telling myself. Once I saw through my spiraling patterns, I realized the very thing that would set me free. 

Love.

In choosing to take action from love, I let down the armor and everything began to shift. I began cultivating a deep connection with my heart and the ripple effect extended far beyond. The more I opened my heart, the more I was met by love. 

Because there was so much judgment entangled with boundaries based on my past experiences, I wasn’t able to grasp how boundaries and love could coexist. And so I chose to forgo all boundaries, wanting to maintain an open heart. 

Big mistake.

This is where I have been deluding myself and have also been inauthentic in my self-expression.

As I have immersed myself in more of a New Age mentality compared to my past, I have encountered many people who have taken a firm stance on the futility of boundaries and claiming that when we are coming from love, we are not separate from each other – well, I took this belief and ran with it. 

I found myself undermining my intuition, which strongly encouraged me to go left and yet I chose to go right; I abandoned what I knew, deep down, to be true for myself because I chose to honor someone else’s truth instead; I said yes many times when I really wanted to say no; I gave my power away time and time again believing that I was doing it in the name of love. 

I thought that by being spacious, leaning into discomfort and putting others first, I was moving from love, when I was actually doing the opposite; neglecting my truth, disowning my wants and disconnecting from my voice was the furthest thing from love. 

A beautiful man in my life recently shared his heart with me. In his vulnerability, he expressed his profound love for me and wanted to claim me as his woman. As I stood in front of him, I realized that I had an opportunity to change the trajectory of my life by letting go of an expired pattern.

While we share a deep love and connection, I am not his woman, and have known this to be true from the moment I met him. My intuition has always been there, I just never listened to it. And thus, in this newfound moment, I had a choice. 

A: I could continue believing the delusional thought that love negates all boundaries and go into agreement with his want, yielding and giving my power away as I had done before with other men…

B: I could attempt to control his reaction and conjure up some inauthentic response that would give him a sense of hope as a way of avoiding having to break his heart right then and there, which I have also done in the past…

C: I could be completely honest, communicate clearly by owning my truth, and set a boundary without taking responsibility for how he chooses to receive it.

In processing the different options, I realized that love could not come with choosing another at the expense of myself (option A) nor could it be present in my assumption that he wouldn’t be able to handle the truth and that I would break his heart (option B). If anything, those two options felt like the antithesis of love, as they came from a place inside me that was completely devoid of self-worth. 

I realized that setting a boundary and saying, “no, I am not your woman!” was the most loving thing I could do because I was honoring myself in that choice. And, in doing so, I was honoring him. 

Brene Brown talks about the importance of boundaries in her book, Rising Strong. She refers to the phenomenon as “Living BIG: Boundaries, Integrity, Generosity.” She says that, “setting boundaries means getting clear on what behaviors are okay and what’s not okay. Integrity is the key to this commitment because it’s how we set those boundaries and ultimately hold ourselves and others accountable for respecting them.” And once boundaries are clear, she goes on to say, “[we can] extend the most generous possible interpretations of the intentions, words, and actions of others.” 

As options A and B felt more familiar to me, I chose to live BIG in that moment and choose option C. I set the clear boundary, I stayed in integrity in choosing courage over comfort, and I was generous in my interpretation of his loving intentions. In doing so and by saying no, space was created for our dynamic to shift and evolve into something even more beautiful. 

The limiting belief around boundaries is that they they close us up and keep people out. While this may be true for some, setting boundaries from a place of love also has the capacity to strengthen our relationships, deepen the love that exists, and cultivate an incredible amount of respect and compassion for ourselves and those in our lives. 

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Jessica has a B.Sc. in Applied Psychology from New York University, M.Ed., in Human Development and Psychology from Harvard, and a M.A., (in progress) in Spiritual Psychology from University of Santa Monica. Jessica is also a columnist at Elephant Journal and has been featured with Huffington Post.

Connect with her at info@soulfullbyjess.com and on Instagram and Facebook.

Letter From the Editor

As the New Year begins, I find myself in a perpetual state of gratitude. I would like to thank everyone who has inspired, participated, contributed, and truly supported the vision of House of Citrine.

I know many of us began this past year by setting goals, resolutions, or intentions for what we would like to manifest throughout the upcoming year. If you are like me, the New Year begins with the best of intentions, but as the months progress, many of us become disengaged or lose focus.  As a result, our motivation dissipates. While it is important for us to be forward thinkers (yet take the time to reflect on the year past), I feel it is even more important and vital to be truly present in each moment and appreciate the here and now with the practice of intention…

May we each take at least 10 minutes to quiet our minds in meditation before we begin the day (even 5 minutes will alter your reality) so we may then center ourselves with the goals we’d like to bring to fruition or the obstacles we wish to overcome. A mission to experience each new day with a raw and open willingness, a true fresh start.

I encourage each and every one of you to release and let go of that which no longer serves you.  This includes clearing sacred space in preparation for conscious connections with others. Personally, grounding and presence are essential in transmuting and negativity I may have once been consumed by. Setting boundaries is crucial to my well-being and is truly vital for everyone.

Surround yourself with people who you admire, who share your visions, and who are making an impact in the universe in a positive way. Connect with those who will love you unconditionally and lift you up. Those closest to you should only enrich your inner sanctum.

Please remember that everyone deserves some quiet time to more effectively navigate through the hustle and bustle of life.  I know firsthand how the noise of the city can overshadow and drown out my intuition. I find my truest relief in nature. To really ground yourself is to actively connect with the world around you. I know this, because each time I am in Sedona, AZ on the red rocks, or during a visit to the ocean, I feel my connection to the vast and limitless possibilities lying before me and become more conscious.

May you find what supercharges you and go there often. Find inner peace and rekindle the excitement of what is yet to come. In all things, carry gratitude in your heart as you come from an open place of vulnerability ready to receive life’s abundance.

So there it is, loves. These pieces of treasured reflections are precious gems I am honored to share with each and every one of you. Set a daily intention to see your yearly goals grow wings!

I wish you a year of health, abundance, blessings, light, laughter, and love.

Sima Morrison

Founder and Editor-in-Chief

P.S.  As we move into 2016, I am also excited to announce we will be adding a new element to House of Citrine…

Starting next week, we will begin offering you weekly ‘Citrine Gems’ where individuals in the community highlight conscious living in their everyday practice and activism will be showcased.  We are very excited about the new weekly Monday feature and trust these beautiful souls will inspire you as they have inspired us.

Authentic Love with Jessica Winterstern

We are excited to announce and introduce Jessica Winterstern as a featured columnist with House of Citrine. Jessica is a vibrant being who guides others to live a fulfilling life by living openly with vulnerability, transparency, and love while abolishing limiting beliefs of fear and inadequacy. A compassionate and empathetic soul, she fiercely reflects love back to individuals who have been yearning for such and who have always been worthy from the moment they took their first breath.

When I was in the 7th grade, Ms. Comely introduced herself to me as the 9th grade Chemistry teacher. I will never forget that visceral naivety that flooded my system. Completely dumbfounded and awe-stricken, I looked her in the eye and said, “You mean… You get to teach about love???” Flushed with embarrassment by the tender laughter that followed, I quickly realized the error I had made. However, thinking back, I see that it served as a monumental moment in which a seed was planted, foreshadowing the blossoming of a life led by my curious heart.

While attending Harvard grad school, I was on a research team called Young People and Romantic Relationships, which was aimed at understanding how adults can better prepare teens and young adults to develop healthy, ethical romantic and sexual relationships. And yet even then, immersing myself in the literature, writing papers, and investigating the different variables that attribute to this thing called Love, I was still missing something critical.  I remember reading a paper called "Love and Adulthood in American Culture." In it, the author writes about the traditional love ideology in the 1800’s, which denoted that the highest form of love was sacrificing the self for the other’s well-being… Had I been born in the wrong century? I really wondered, as most of my relationships up until that point corroborated this ancient concept.

Love is the language of our souls. It’s the common foundation upon which we construct our lives. Without love, we wouldn’t be here. And yet the experience of loving another leaves so many of us feeling challenged, confused, desperate, resentful, pained, and broken. 

We fall apart when it’s over: we retaliate, we manipulate, we blame, we beg, we grieve, we wallow, we shut down, we armor up, and we vow never again.

But is this authentic love?

Helen Fisher talks about romantic love in her work and how it affects our brains' chemistry. It’s like a drug, as research shows that the activity found in a particular region of the brain that is associated with falling in love is the same as when one is experiencing the rush of cocaine. Love becomes an addiction; the dopamine released in the body, which attributes to feelings of elation, reinforces a belief that in order to have this pleasurable experience, we must hold on to the variable (i.e., the other) that correlates with the release of this chemical. 

But what if that variable wasn’t the sole determinant of this feeling? What if we could feel the pleasure of love without having to rely on that external factor?

A worthy inquiry, as we grow up in a culture in which we are overwhelmed by stimuli that support the notion that our happiness is embedded in our ability to be loved by others. To further clarify, many of us take on the perspective that our worth depends upon someone else’s capacity to love us.  

We often lose ourselves in relationships when we see life through this lens, putting an immense amount of pressure on ourselves and on the other, all to maintain something that is built on a faulty premise. 

This is one of the biggest illusions we buy into; this is what had me identifying with the 1800’s love ideology, and this led to me to the something that I was missing in grad school.

I believe that there’s a major distinction to be made between authentic love and emotional love, and I suspect that Helen Fisher’s work, as well as many of our personal experiences, coincide with the latter of the two.

When love is bound by time and space, when it is tied up in expectations, when it becomes something we can give and then take back, to me, that’s not authentic love.

When loving another is fueled by our own need to feel safe, to feel seen, to feel loved, to feel whole, our ability to love another without conditions is compromised. And love becomes emotional.

This kind of love is erratic and unpredictable; in one moment we are all in, in the next we are out. This kind of love can be withheld as a form of punishment; it can be used as a way to manipulate, it can be squandered and it can lead to us feeling completely debilitated. This kind of can turn to obsession, it can become addictive, and it can weaken our stability. This kind of love breeds insecurity, fuels fear, leads to victimization, and perpetuates blame. This kind of love can cause us to hold on when we are meant to let go, say yes when we really mean no, and choose the other at the expense of ourselves. This kind of love has us oscillating between the highest highs and the lowest low – it’s an emotional rollercoaster that is founded in delusion.

The delusion being that we believe that without the other we are incomplete.

In the past, I bought into this belief; thus, I was entrenched in the experiences of emotional love.

I stayed in relationships that were no longer serving me because I believed that without them I wouldn’t be enough. I maintained relationships that were no longer supportive because I didn’t want to hurt the person I loved. I projected my anger onto others, blaming and condemning those I associated with my pain because I wasn’t willing to face myself and take responsibility. And I was overcome by fear when I was in a loving relationship, unable to appreciate the moment and be present because I was already worrying about being left.  I gave love, really, to receive love, to keep love and to be loved. It was conditional, it was inauthentic, and each experience I had, good or bad, was colored by this flawed formula.

And, even still, I would not change an experience of my past, as I don’t believe we are meant to dismiss those painful moments; they serve as the most important stepping-stones in the unfolding of our lives and the new directions that we take. Mike Dooley puts it perfectly in his book, Infinite Possibilities. He says, “Pain is par for the course when there are misunderstandings, but it gives birth to new insights. Allowing it into your life is just as important as allowing it move on. And when pain does show up, even if you don’t yet feel enlightened for your suffering, you will be further along than you realize. You will be better prepared for even greater happiness in the future and you will have closed a gap to understanding the mysteries of your heart.”

The closing of the gap to understanding the mysteries of my heart revealed the missing piece for which I had been searching.

We’ve all heard the saying that we can only love another when we love ourselves. Like many people, I understood it on some surface level, but the potency behind these words was the something I had been skimming over in grad school. Once I dropped into my heart, began to witness my internal dialogue, became aware of all the judgments I was carrying, and started a daily practice of self-love, self-forgiveness, and gratitude, that I realized the profundity of this cliché. That is when my paradigm began to shift.

Authentic love can only be experienced when we recognize and own our worth. In order to love someone wholeheartedly, our hearts must be whole to begin with. And the overlooked truth is that they are, it’s just a matter of us acknowledging that. This realization, in turn, collapses any theory that supports us giving our power away. When we recognize our value, when we connect to our whole heart, when we experience our lovability independent of whether or not another reciprocates: that is when we can love wholeheartedly; that is when we can love unconditionally; that is when we can love authentically. When we fall in love with who we are, we can experience the effects of dopamine irrespective of an external variable’s presence. Authentic love is our birthright and the only thing that stands in the way of us being able to fully experience it is ourselves.  

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Jessica has a B.Sc. in Applied Psychology from New York University, M.Ed., in Human Development and Psychology from Harvard, and a M.A., (in progress) in Spiritual Psychology from University of Santa Monica. Jessica is also a columnist at Elephant Journal and has been featured with Huffington Post.

Connect with her at info@soulfullbyjess.com and on Instagram and Facebook.

Alchemy Arts Center

Alchemy Spa is the premiere healing sanctuary.  From Ayurvedic cuisine to sensory attenuation tanks - there is a doorway to every desire inside Alchemy.

The owner, Emma, was lovely enough to sit down with us for breakfast.  Emma's life is dedicated to her mission of healing at Alchemy Arts Center.

Could you tell us about the history of the center?

Alchemy opened four years ago in March after being inspired by a two-week retreat I experienced in Thailand that changed my life. Everyday I did yoga, ate cleansing foods, and was supported through healing treatments like acupuncture. I felt incredible! My energy was boundless and I felt clear, strong and positive—something I hadn’t felt since I was a child. 

I found myself asking, “Why did I have to go all the way to Thailand to experience this?”  That was question was answered for me shortly after landing back in Santa Barbara where I intuitively decided, “It’s going to be here.” My intention was to create a sacred space for both guests and employees to thrive and heal.

Our priority at Alchemy is to provide people with support and inspiration to lead a more balanced life. Creating Alchemy Wellness Spa has been the most incredible experience, but it’s also been intense. There’ve been many challenges (especially in the beginning), but this is my passion—I had to push through! I feel incredibly blessed to have had the opportunity to have gone through this experience and been so closely involved throughout the journey of manifesting this idea.

Can you tell us about your offerings?

We are all dealing with a lot of stress in this modern, fast-paced world of ours. Whether that stress is from the environment, a divorce, the death of a loved one, an injury, the loss of a job, etc., it’s essential to allow the body to release that stress – along with any other negative emotions. It’s also important to have the consciousness to learn how to take care of one’s self. People need a place where they can go to learn how to do this, to reset themselves so to speak, so they can enjoy life to it’s fullest. Alchemy is that sacred space. 

All year-round we offer organic cold press juice cleanses and a cleansing food program. It’s really important to understand that our organs are our guidance system for this life of ours. Even if we have a super clean diet there are environmental pollutants that store in our bodies. 

Once a month we offer featured cleanses facilitated by our beloved Siddhi. 

Our last cleanse focused on the liver. The participants gathered in the morning and were guided through movements and breath work focusing on cleansing the liver which supports weight loss, healthy sleep, renewed energy, better digestion, relief from depression & balanced hormones. 

There are also food treatment packages designed for liver support; Alchemy’s amazing wraps with macerated herbs soaked in specific oils. 

We also have an incredible float tank full of Epsom salts with a special Memon ® transformer to remove any harmful energetics from the water; Much like a crystal, water stores energy. If we have “unhealthy or bad” information/radiation that enters our cells (us), the water in our cells, naturally transmits this to the cells next to it making reproduction of healthy cells more complicated. This is the natural process of our body’s intelligence. The usual  "purification" process used to treat water is great at removing potentially dangerous chemicals and ionic materials from water. Though these potential dangerous contaminants are removed, the water still remains, with electrical "imprints" of bad things that were in the water, attached to the water molecules before those chemicals were removed, or simply "imprinted" into the electrical characteristics of the water molecules from external sources. The tank is especially amazing after a massage. 

We have a wide array of services and have ways for people of all budgets to interact with us. For example we hold a group acupuncture class every week . They are an amazingly economical way to experience Alchemy at $15 . 

We also offer Aura-Soma, which is a non-intrusive, self-selective soul system. Combining the energies of colour, plants, and crystals, these vibrational tools can support all levels of our being, bringing harmony and balance within the subtle fields promoting wellbeing and a joy for life.

What treatment do you suggest for first timers?

I love the crystal healing facial. Using the healing vibration of crystals, this experience very calming. We use fresh Rose cells and Rose Damascena to rejuvenate and raise the vibrational energy of the skin. Deep lymphatic drainage and acupressure with hot poultices and Rose Quartz, restores a glowing radiance to the skin..Pure Bliss…

Then to complete the Alchemy experience I would recommend our Pearl and Jasmine body renewal with an amethyst wrap. This mineral-rich Himalayan salt crystal treatment, has the immediate effect of restoring energy, mental clarity, wellbeing and strength. This is followed by a gel body wrap to relax and restore the nervous system; stimulating the circulation, regeneration of skin cells and cell growth.

What are your favorite spots in SB?

Santa Barbara is a truly incredible place to live.  I’m a swimmer so I love the ocean. But really there’s so much to love here—the sunsets, sunrises, the trails, the trees, the restaurants, the people. The list goes on.

What is essential that you can’t live without?

My essentials are my family, my spiritual practice, friends, Ayurveda, and last but not least adventures.

I was just going to say that.  You seem like an adventurous person.

Humans can get stuck in repetition, so I like doing something that takes me out of that. Like getting up early in the morning and going for a swim in freezing cold water, Sleeping under the stars—something that gets me out of my usual comfort.  

It’s strange that as humans we are often afraid of change, yet we change all the time. At each breath our molecules are transforming. We often look for safety in not changing, even if it’s not supportive to our well-being. I like to ask, “Who would you be if you were really just present living your life right now in this moment?” This is all we have . This moment ! We have to show up the best that we are able to…To Forgive, To be grateful, To Laugh, To share, To Love.

We’re not necessarily taught how to do that.  When you give yourself to the moment, you start to live your life from a different perspective.

What does alchemy mean to you?

Transformation, transformation of one thing into something greater and more refined. Alchemy is a place to come together, share ideas, find connections, release old patterns that no longer serve us and transform ourselves into something better.

Why is self care so important?

I believe it’s vitally important to take care of yourself. In our culture we are taught that it’s selfish to put ourselves first. When in actuality, unless you know how to take care of yourself (love and fully accept yourself), you won’t be able to do that for another.

Tel: 805-899-8811

35 West Haley Street,
Santa Barbara, CA 93101

Keep up with Alchemy Arts Center on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and their website!

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Color Therapy

It’s easy to become immune to the repetitive things that we experience in this lifetime.  The inborn can become seemingly dissociated from our senses.  For example, when is the last time you have acknowledged color?  If you are not blind or completely color blind, then you experience color every moment of your life.  Even your dreams are in color.

Imagine that from the beginning of your existence that you never had a sense of sight at all.  Not only would you never understand what anything actually looked like, you wouldn’t even have the context for what color actually is.  How would you explain color to someone who has never, and will never, see?  

This question came whilst pondering color therapy.  

Color therapy, or chromatherapy is an alternative medicine in which color is used to equalize energy in a person’s body.  Each color corresponds to different systems in the body.

• Red - Root
• Orange - Sacrum
• Yellow - Solar Plexus
• Green - Heart
• Blue - Throat
• Indigo - Third Eye
• Magenta - Crown

Color are also associated with our emotions.  Max Lüscher, a Swiss psychotherapist, has created a test in which color selections are guided in an unconscious manner.  The color selections act as a mirror to reveal your inner truth.  You can take the quiz here to find an extensive analysis of your selections.  

To further your understanding of how you interact with color — aura photography shows what colors comprises your energy field.  Spearheaded by the work of Walter John Kilner (1847-1920), a medical electrician from London, who published one of the first western medical studies on aura (or as he coined it, “The Human Atmosphere”) — aura photography is now an instantaneous process in which biofeedback imaging cameras capture your body's invisible electromagnetic field!  The results are then interpreted using the color correspondences as listed above.  

If we always remained aware of our breathtaking senses — then it seems no one would ever have the time to experience lack, separation, or unworthiness....we would be too busy being devotees to the magic of life.  But then, maybe forgetting our nature is just as important as remembering.